Sunday, June 26, 2005

Submariners' reputations...more

Years ago, the Pope died of old age and found himself at the Gates of Heaven at 0300. He knocks on the gate and a very sleepy-eyed watch opens the gate and asks, "Wadda ya want?" "I'm the recently deceased Pope and have done 63 years of Godly work and thought I should check in here."

The watch checks his clipboard and says, "got no orders for you here-- just bring your stuff and we'll sort this all out in the morning." They go to an old-style barracks, third floor, open bay. All bottom racks full and empty lockers without doors. The Pope stows his gear under a rack and climbs onto an upper bunk.

The next morning he awakens to sounds of cheering and applause. He gets up and goes to a window and sees a flashy Jaguar cruising down from the golden command building. The sidewalks are lined with saints as angels cheer and toss confetti. In the back seat sits a Navy Submariner, dolphins glistening on his chest, Cuban cigar in his pocket, bottle of torpedo juice in one hand, and his other hand holding leave papers.

This disturbs the Pope, who runs downstairs to the Master-At-Arms and says, "Hey, what gives? You put me, the Pope, with 63 years of Godly deeds in an old barracks while that guy, who must have committed every sin known and unknown to man is staying in a mansion on the hill and getting a saint's welcome. How can that be?"

The Master-At-Arms calmly looks up and says, "We get Popes here every 20 or so years, but we've never had a Submariner before."

from ex-submariner Pete, Richland, Wa.


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